Friday, June 8, 2007

Cry me a river


Dear bloggers,

Okay all you mothers-young and old, please refresh my memory and give advice to my problem. This may sound stupid, or mean but I would love your input nonetheless. My second baby Jack(6mo) is so much like his father it isn't even funny. One of his best qualities is his stubbornness, and he thinks he doesn't need sleep.

So today I fed him a bottle and he got the sleepy eyes, and cuddled up with me and went to sleep, but the minute I lay him down in his crib, he goes CRAZY. He screams and cries for as long as it takes to have someone come pick him up. Literally I let him cry for 40 minutes today. As a mother you can't sit and hold a baby all day and not get anything done, but on the other hand, they grow up so fast and holding him all day wouldn't be so bad would it? I'm so divided.

signed-

concerned and frazzled

16 Comments:

Sarah said...

Sounds familiar ( a la Kendle the sleepless infant). We made the mistake of always holding her or rocking her to sleep, and she would always wake up the minute we laid her down and she would never quit crying no matter how long we left her. Have you tried laying him down before he is asleep? Maybe he needs to get in a walker and start running those little legs around to tire himself out.

natallie said...

em would always wake up as soon as her back touched the crib mattress. it made bedtime a daily nightmare. i read a book about how important is was to keep a schedule with your baby. the schedule is called E.A.S.Y. and it stands for, have your child EAT when he wakes up, then an ACTIVITY(play with them, sing, etc..)then when they're awake lay them down for SLEEP, and the Y stands for YOURSELF time. it was really important for me to do this and it made my babies happier.(and me too!) not sure if it'll help, seeing how mitch comes home and blasts the tv, but i thought i'd let you know.

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

You already have the advice, so here is the sympathy: SoRrY.

Both my babies have felt sleep is for the weak. Someday I'll get a good napper....

Kris said...

You need to read my book. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I'm serious. It's a great book. Keep doing what you are doing. Put him down when it's naptime and leave him in there for at least 40-60 minutes. I know it sounds bad. Porter was the same way at this stage. I remember calling Lisa, and just being so frustrated. Stick to it, and he will finally get it. I promise. Now Porter takes 2 naps a day and sleeps for at least 12 hours at night! It's bliss, but I know your pain! This book is encouraging and tells you what you should do, and what you shouldn't! It's good! Here is a link!!!

http://books.google.com/books?id=WEgoAAAACAAJ&dq=healthy+sleep+habits,+happy+child

Kris said...

Ok, so that link didn't work. Type in the book title in google and you can read the reviews. I promise it's good. I can bring it to you! Oh and love the Cry Baby candy. I thought you were going to ask about the candies we used to eat while growing up! Tells you how brilliant I am!!

meohmyers said...

Ditto on the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. Awesome. Worked for Maddie, too. Same philosophies as E.A.S.Y. - great way to remember it! Good luck! You know how hard it is in the moment but your baby will never remember having to cry it out and will be a better baby with all the sleep he's going to get. Just stick with it. "This too shall pass..." :)

hatch said...

Oh I wish I would have known about that book when my kids were babies. Dylan was never a good sleeper and I know the problem was that I always held him whenever he cryed. I thought I was being a good mom, but then I realized that kids need to learn how to comfort themselves and that is a good way to teach them. With Chloe right from the beginning I would just lay her in her bed and she would go asleep. But if you ever need a break I would be more than happy to come over and snuggle with cute baby Jack.

Marilyn said...

Nan, I am so sorry that this is causing you frustration. There is nothing worse than being torn as a mother. We know what we should do, but then feel overwhelming guilt for doing it.

I agree with all of the great advice given so far. Ethan was my worst sleeper and until I realized that he needed to be on his stomach he just would not sleep. But having a stomach sleeper only brings on more fear and guilt and frustration because of all the SIDS talk about tummy sleepers.

It was just the only way that boy would go to sleep. I did hold him a lot and rock him and rock him and rock him. Now we have a very special bond, and I am glad that I took the time to hold him so much. But sometimes, you just have to let them cry and cry and cry. It is so hard though.

Sorry about the very long comment.

PRP said...

That book is brilliant and I highly recommend it. I have three kids, three different personalities, and they all sleep like a champion anywhere, anytime. The method makes perfect sense and if you stick to it, you will be thanking your lucky stars. Your kids will be so much better and you will feel like you can breathe again. You're welcome to borrow my copy if you want!

Sarah said...

I was thinking last night after we were talking about how he likes to have something pressed against his head, if one of those baby sleep positioners would work, or the ones they have for car seats that keep their head in place. Just a random idea.

Tallia said...

Nancie, I have the same book and the same wonderful results. It really works if you can let your baby cry it out in the beginning...

The Garden Maiden said...

Probably limiting his Grandma time would help. But you better not.

I am addicted to holding Jack. I have never held a baby that likes to cuddle more than him. He does like his head rammed against you. Maybe that was how he was positioned in the womb and it feels comforting to him. Read the book and teach me what to do and I will just cry "myself" to sleep for having to not hold Jack.

Really tears are welling up in my eyes. I am so glad I quit my job. I haven't been able to spend this much time with my grandkids since Madeline was born.

::lindsay said...

Hi, Nan! I've stumbled onto your blog through the many other blogs I check. I hope you don't mind! It's hard to believe it's been a year since the Buble concert when we met. I feel for your sleep issues. I, also, highly recommend the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I used this book on Kaiya and she's been the best sleeper in the world.

libbie said...

This is exactly how Edyn was. And let me tell you, the girl never learned how to sleep by herself. I couldn't bear to let her cry. So I held her and slept with her all the time. That was not so bad, cause she was my only baby. Well . . . . its four years later, and she is still sleeping in my bed for half the night!
I think Baby Wise is a really good book. It seems to have worked really good for lots of my friends. Fortunatly, I got Ava for a second baby, and she slept like a charm from day one! I guess I might not get so lucky next time.
I hope things get better!

Tara said...

Nancy,

I found your blog from Libbie's. (Hope you don't mind...) I used Babywise w/ both my kids. Sleep 8 hours a night at 7 weeks...both of them. With Mason it was a piece of cake, with Kennedy it was harder at first but I stuck to it and it worked. They also went to sleep on their own (still do) and took 3 naps a day, then 2, now just 1. Hope you find something that works for you. Good luck. Tara Hatch